Friday, May 22
Growing up, I was always a little "out of the box", even when I tried desperately to fit in. As I entered middle and high school, I tried desperately to NOT fit in....it worked. In middle school, I wore combat boots, pink hair and purple lipstick. In high school I became vegetarian, and totally hipped out.
I started mothering and once again, veered away from the mainstream. I birthed E at home with midwives. I breastfed in front of anybody. I did not circumcise or vaccinate or even take my son to well check visits. I raised him his first 2 years as a vegetarian and would have a near panic attack when the in-laws tried to give him, God forbid, a sucker!
As my children have grown, I have found more of a middle ground. My second son J, also home-birthed and attachment parented, has been exposed to more at an earlier age than E. I had grown. E is 5 years older than J. As a 20 year old hippy momma, I was caught up in being out of the box, in another box. There were these ideals and rules and I had to go a little more extreme before finding my middle ground. I learned that it's OK to use a pacifier if it soothes your baby and keeps you from going insane. It's OK to nurse in public and it's ok to be discreet. It's OK to eat meat in a conscious way. Eating,in general, should be done in a conscious way. It's OK to stand out and it's OK to blend in. There is no one way. We are never one thing, all the time.
I realize that taking the high road, finding our higher ground, involves finding our middle ground. We need to find what connects us, not what separates us. It's not our outer appearance that makes us who we are. It's not what we eat, what we wear, what we have, or what we do.
I am finding my middle ground. I neither desire to be in or out of the box. What box? There is no box. We create our own for ourselves and each other. We want to be different but we want to be accepted. As I keep on this journey (in my ripe age of 29) I find more and more that we have to accept ourselves. There is no way we will ever be accepted by everyone we meet, no matter how much we try to fit into their "box". We do what works for us. I don't believe that there is ever one thing; one Religion, one stereotype, one way of partnership, one lifestyle, etc. that works for everyone. We find our way to nurture our own seeds of kindness and compassion, beginning within, so we can find our higher ground.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
No going back
When I was nearing the end of my pregnancy with my first son, E, I was starting to get scared of labor. Although I was muy excited to meet my new baby, I was starting to freak a little. All I could tell myself, is "there is no going back now". The only way is forward....forward with hopes and good intentions.
Since becoming a mother, this thought has come up more and more. Forward, forward, forward. No going back. The vulnerability of being a parent is sometimes overwhelming, but so worth it. Even if I could go back, my children would be a choice I would make over and over. In fact, often they are the reason I would even want to go back. Although I still think if I could just go back and do things perfectly, make better use of my time,and do a better job, etc., I realise that these thoughts are an utter waste of time. There is no going back.
Death is one of those things that makes us wonder if the pain and the fear is worth it. Losing someone close is so painful. The fear of losing someone close, or the fear of death can be really overwhelming, but the fact remains that we are here. There is no going back. So, we make it worth it. We endure, we go through what is brought to us and we strive to come out the other side better, wiser and more awake.
My uncle recently passed. His funeral is tomorrow. All things are impermanent, but to lose a loved one is truly a tragedy. We are sad for us. They are gone. My sweet uncle, he is gone, his spirit moves on, but for his wife, his children and grandchildren, they have to endure, move on and miss him. It is us, who suffer, not the dead. Death of this earthly body lies ahead for all of us, it is part of the cycle of life. As scary as that can be, there is still no going back. We have this moment forward to be who we want to be in this limited time we have on earth. We will fall, and although we cannot go back, we are still here and we can get back up and choose a different way at any given moment.
As hard as death is, it brings a really beautiful element. We cherish life, we live in the now, we hold our loved ones close, and we hold back less. We celebrate the life of the person who has moved on and we vow to make our lives more meaningful. Whether we feel guilt for who or how we've been in the past or fear the future, the fact still remains. There is no going back and we are blessed to be here.
So may we all keep moving forward. May we all be able to look back and cherish the memories we have but also learn from our mistakes rather than dwell on them.
Since becoming a mother, this thought has come up more and more. Forward, forward, forward. No going back. The vulnerability of being a parent is sometimes overwhelming, but so worth it. Even if I could go back, my children would be a choice I would make over and over. In fact, often they are the reason I would even want to go back. Although I still think if I could just go back and do things perfectly, make better use of my time,and do a better job, etc., I realise that these thoughts are an utter waste of time. There is no going back.
Death is one of those things that makes us wonder if the pain and the fear is worth it. Losing someone close is so painful. The fear of losing someone close, or the fear of death can be really overwhelming, but the fact remains that we are here. There is no going back. So, we make it worth it. We endure, we go through what is brought to us and we strive to come out the other side better, wiser and more awake.
My uncle recently passed. His funeral is tomorrow. All things are impermanent, but to lose a loved one is truly a tragedy. We are sad for us. They are gone. My sweet uncle, he is gone, his spirit moves on, but for his wife, his children and grandchildren, they have to endure, move on and miss him. It is us, who suffer, not the dead. Death of this earthly body lies ahead for all of us, it is part of the cycle of life. As scary as that can be, there is still no going back. We have this moment forward to be who we want to be in this limited time we have on earth. We will fall, and although we cannot go back, we are still here and we can get back up and choose a different way at any given moment.
As hard as death is, it brings a really beautiful element. We cherish life, we live in the now, we hold our loved ones close, and we hold back less. We celebrate the life of the person who has moved on and we vow to make our lives more meaningful. Whether we feel guilt for who or how we've been in the past or fear the future, the fact still remains. There is no going back and we are blessed to be here.
So may we all keep moving forward. May we all be able to look back and cherish the memories we have but also learn from our mistakes rather than dwell on them.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
More than a mother
Having my first child at age 20 has meant a lot of different things to me.
1. I was madly in love with my new son and excited to walk this new road.
2. I was about to embark upon the most important work I have ever done.
3. I was about to commit all of my time and energy to this wonderful little being who came into this world through me.
4. I would love this little one more than I ever thought possible and he would also be the biggest refection I would ever have for both my light and dark sides.
5. Becoming a mother would become the #1 way I would identify myself.
I did, in fact, become so attached to not only my child, but the way he made me feel more important. Of course, I was more important in the way that now I had a helpless perfect little one who's life depended on me. Being a mother became who I was, period. Going somewhere without my baby was out of the question, 1. because I was parenting the "attachment parenting" style and 2. because I literally didn't know who I was, what I had to offer, just me, sans baby. This baby made me feel important, he gave me purpose.
My second baby came 5 years later and came as another great teacher to me. A less attached, more self-assured mother I became. Having a second child made our family feel even more like a family. Wow...a sibling! I was starting from scratch with a baby and a kindergartner. It was wonderful. As wonderful as mothering has been for me, there has always been another pull, another purpose. I have a sense that all mother's go through some form of this restlessness at one time or another, yeah???
I have never, ever, not once, wished I did not have children. These boys fill my heart to the point of bursting. They are still, and always will be one of the most important journey's I have ever taken. There are times, however, that I long for more. God put me on this earth to mother, yes, but there's more for me to do. I definitely feel a pull, that if I ignore, will make me resentful.
After spending my entire 20's as a stay at home mother, I am ready. Mothering is still my #1 priority and my children come first, but I am ready to be more than a mother. I am also ready to be a better mother in the process. I believe this will naturally evolve when I find my outlet. I need to find that balance. I need find a way to incorporate my passion and creativity into my life while balancing the needs of my family. And, yes, "need" is the right word. Finding what feeds my soul is a need.
So mommy's, Happy Mother's Day! Find what feeds your soul. Perhaps being a full time stay at home mommy with weekly trips to the library, daily trips to the park, stories, naps and snacks are filling your soul in every way. I struggle with feeling that this should be enough for me and feeling guilty that it's not, but the truth is, it takes all kinds. It takes all kinds of mothers, daughters, children, boss's, friends, people to make this world go 'round. There is no "right way", there are right ways for us. What works for you may not work for me and vise versa. No matter what kind of mother you are, I can almost guarantee that you are more than a mother.
1. I was madly in love with my new son and excited to walk this new road.
2. I was about to embark upon the most important work I have ever done.
3. I was about to commit all of my time and energy to this wonderful little being who came into this world through me.
4. I would love this little one more than I ever thought possible and he would also be the biggest refection I would ever have for both my light and dark sides.
5. Becoming a mother would become the #1 way I would identify myself.
I did, in fact, become so attached to not only my child, but the way he made me feel more important. Of course, I was more important in the way that now I had a helpless perfect little one who's life depended on me. Being a mother became who I was, period. Going somewhere without my baby was out of the question, 1. because I was parenting the "attachment parenting" style and 2. because I literally didn't know who I was, what I had to offer, just me, sans baby. This baby made me feel important, he gave me purpose.
My second baby came 5 years later and came as another great teacher to me. A less attached, more self-assured mother I became. Having a second child made our family feel even more like a family. Wow...a sibling! I was starting from scratch with a baby and a kindergartner. It was wonderful. As wonderful as mothering has been for me, there has always been another pull, another purpose. I have a sense that all mother's go through some form of this restlessness at one time or another, yeah???
I have never, ever, not once, wished I did not have children. These boys fill my heart to the point of bursting. They are still, and always will be one of the most important journey's I have ever taken. There are times, however, that I long for more. God put me on this earth to mother, yes, but there's more for me to do. I definitely feel a pull, that if I ignore, will make me resentful.
After spending my entire 20's as a stay at home mother, I am ready. Mothering is still my #1 priority and my children come first, but I am ready to be more than a mother. I am also ready to be a better mother in the process. I believe this will naturally evolve when I find my outlet. I need to find that balance. I need find a way to incorporate my passion and creativity into my life while balancing the needs of my family. And, yes, "need" is the right word. Finding what feeds my soul is a need.
So mommy's, Happy Mother's Day! Find what feeds your soul. Perhaps being a full time stay at home mommy with weekly trips to the library, daily trips to the park, stories, naps and snacks are filling your soul in every way. I struggle with feeling that this should be enough for me and feeling guilty that it's not, but the truth is, it takes all kinds. It takes all kinds of mothers, daughters, children, boss's, friends, people to make this world go 'round. There is no "right way", there are right ways for us. What works for you may not work for me and vise versa. No matter what kind of mother you are, I can almost guarantee that you are more than a mother.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Striving
My boys, how I love them so.My big boy, E, is a smart and sensitive boy. He has a kind heart and a desire to do good. He has been my greatest reflection and my greatest teacher. I was literally growing up when he came into my life and have done my greatest growing in the past 8.5 years. I see the gifts I have given him and I see some of the not-so-greatness about me in him. That is what makes me take a hard look at myself and strive harder to be an example worthy of imitation...a lofty goal, but I heard a quote once 
that will always stick with me, especially during these child-rearing years. " All children need is a striving adult before them". We don't have to be perfect, we never will be, but if we are always striving to be better, our children will see, and feel that.
that will always stick with me, especially during these child-rearing years. " All children need is a striving adult before them". We don't have to be perfect, we never will be, but if we are always striving to be better, our children will see, and feel that.My sweet little toe-headed tree hugger, J, makes me smile every single day. He's so senisitive it makes me strive and strive to be a gentler mother.
These little souls that come through us to bless this world with their presence are such amazing reflections. I
have these wonderful beautiful children who I love more than anything and they get the best, and worst of me. I am not afraid to admit to them when I have acted in a way that I am not proud of, but that in itself is not enough. I have to show them that I am really trying.The last thing I want is for them to stop believing me when I tell them I want to be more patient, I have to actually follow through. The key to parenting successfully is
following through with what we say. Something I am still working on. In my case, it's not only the follow through with what I give them for consequenses, but also with what I say I am going to work on in myself. My children need to see me be more patient and present, not hear me tell them I'm going to. They need to see me striving. I will fall, but as long as my children see me get back up they will have faith in me.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
'Round and 'round the earth is turning.....
'Round and 'round the earth is turning. Turning always 'round 'till morning, and from morning 'round 'till night.
This is a lovely song that I sometimes sing to my children at bedtime. Tonight I tucked them in, gave them both there drinks of water (I was actually prepared tonight with a glass of water by the bed) and sang our songs as part of our nightly ritual. I then took a much needed shower and continued to hum the tune. It got me thinking about the impermanence of all things.
We live in our nuclear lives and homes and get on with our day to day. It's amazing to me to think that at this very moment just about everything we can imagine is happening. Babies are being born, people are dying, war is happening, children are safe in their beds sleeping while others are living in a living hell. There is so much to be in love with and afraid of all at the same time. The woes of the world can be so overwhelming and at times can feel like such a weight.
I, personally can let the weight of the world affect my personal life...big time, being the extra sensitive humanitarian that I am. I find that mindfulness practice brings me back to the here and now. The world is still beautiful. I listen to the birds sing, feel the warm sun on my face, and give thanks for the blessings that have been bestowed upon my family. The flowers are blooming,the grass is growing, the season's come and go. My life, our lives, are far from perfect and I suffer. Yet, I realize that no matter what I am going through, the world still turns just the same and there is always something to be grateful for. I tend to be a melancholic type of person in general, a deep thinker. Although I often struggle with being happy, I am always grateful.
Thich Nhat Hanh is a Zen Buddhist monk who has written many books on peace and mindfulness. His writing has helped me immensely. It is possible to suffer and be full of wonder at the same time. Here is a quote from good ol' Thich...
" Life is filled with suffering, but it is also filled with many wonders, like the blue sky, the sunshine, the eyes of a baby. To suffer is not enough. We must also be in touch with the wonders of life. They are within us and all around us, everywhere, any time."
He goes on to say, " If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile and blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, in our entire society, will benefit from our peace. Do we need to make a special effort to enjoy the beauty of the blue sky? Do we have to practice to be able to enjoy it? No, we just enjoy it. Each second, each minute of our lives can be like this."
It is important to be in touch with both aspects of life. There is so much suffering in the world and it's important to be in touch with that, but we will drown if we forget the miracles that are happening around us at all times.
Just typing the word "drown" brings me back to 2 Sundays ago when I attended an African American church in Denver (uh....attending African American churches is my #1 destination each time I visit any major city....as to why, well, that's another post) and the preacher's punch line was, " You can drown-ah or you can pray-ah" . Prayer is so amazing and I like to think that mindfulness is a way of connecting with the Divine as well as prayer, so my twist on that is " you can drown, or you can enjoy the water."
This is a lovely song that I sometimes sing to my children at bedtime. Tonight I tucked them in, gave them both there drinks of water (I was actually prepared tonight with a glass of water by the bed) and sang our songs as part of our nightly ritual. I then took a much needed shower and continued to hum the tune. It got me thinking about the impermanence of all things.
We live in our nuclear lives and homes and get on with our day to day. It's amazing to me to think that at this very moment just about everything we can imagine is happening. Babies are being born, people are dying, war is happening, children are safe in their beds sleeping while others are living in a living hell. There is so much to be in love with and afraid of all at the same time. The woes of the world can be so overwhelming and at times can feel like such a weight.
I, personally can let the weight of the world affect my personal life...big time, being the extra sensitive humanitarian that I am. I find that mindfulness practice brings me back to the here and now. The world is still beautiful. I listen to the birds sing, feel the warm sun on my face, and give thanks for the blessings that have been bestowed upon my family. The flowers are blooming,the grass is growing, the season's come and go. My life, our lives, are far from perfect and I suffer. Yet, I realize that no matter what I am going through, the world still turns just the same and there is always something to be grateful for. I tend to be a melancholic type of person in general, a deep thinker. Although I often struggle with being happy, I am always grateful.
Thich Nhat Hanh is a Zen Buddhist monk who has written many books on peace and mindfulness. His writing has helped me immensely. It is possible to suffer and be full of wonder at the same time. Here is a quote from good ol' Thich...
" Life is filled with suffering, but it is also filled with many wonders, like the blue sky, the sunshine, the eyes of a baby. To suffer is not enough. We must also be in touch with the wonders of life. They are within us and all around us, everywhere, any time."
He goes on to say, " If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile and blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, in our entire society, will benefit from our peace. Do we need to make a special effort to enjoy the beauty of the blue sky? Do we have to practice to be able to enjoy it? No, we just enjoy it. Each second, each minute of our lives can be like this."
It is important to be in touch with both aspects of life. There is so much suffering in the world and it's important to be in touch with that, but we will drown if we forget the miracles that are happening around us at all times.
Just typing the word "drown" brings me back to 2 Sundays ago when I attended an African American church in Denver (uh....attending African American churches is my #1 destination each time I visit any major city....as to why, well, that's another post) and the preacher's punch line was, " You can drown-ah or you can pray-ah" . Prayer is so amazing and I like to think that mindfulness is a way of connecting with the Divine as well as prayer, so my twist on that is " you can drown, or you can enjoy the water."
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
God is not scary.
These days, just the word "God" is about enough to turn a lot of people away. I, myself, used to be afraid of the word "God", instead using words like "Universe" and "Great Spirit". Now I have grown fond of using the word "God" and to me, all these words for a higher power are interchangeable. There have been different messengers sent forth throughout time to deliver God's word. Christians believe that Jesus was not only a messenger but that Jesus IS God. In fact, all the messengers sent forth have embodied God and come to spread God's word.
I was raised a Christian. I have met many Christians who are truly trying to live a Christ-like existence, which I admire deeply. I admire anyone who can be selfless and help the world's people, no matter what brought them to a place of service and compassion. I believe service is the highest form of worship.
Even as a child, I could never fully get on board with the Christian movement. Really, it's the whole Heaven and Hell thing. The thought of an innocent starving child in a third world country dying and then burning in hell only because he had never heard of Jesus, just did not sit right....at all. The thought of any good person being punished for eternity for simply believing in God in a different way, well I just can't wrap my brain, or heart around that. These ideas seem very fear-based. I choose to love God out of love, not fear.
I know many will disagree with my beliefs, but it's ok. I know there is common ground and I choose to peacefully disagree while focusing on our common truth's. I challenge anyone who is "stuck" thinking their religion is the only right and true way, to actually study and look into some of the other world's religions and see for yourself where common truths appear. I think it is also safe to say that all the great books have been written and rewritten throughout the years, taking on different perceptions. All of the great books have great truths to teach us, many of them overlapping from the Bible, the Torah to the Quran, to the Bhagavad Gita.
I truly, in my heart, believe that all paths to God lead to God. If we are living our lives for a higher good, doing good, then I believe we will find God. If we seek God, we will find God. I do NOT believe that God wants us to harm anyone, for any reason and I do not believe that God wants us to be divided.
There are so many different religions, each one claiming to be the one and only way to God. How can that be right? There are several different religions that reference the Bible alone, all claiming to be the "right" one. As we all know, there are many ways to perceive things. I believe that several religions that can come from one common book must all be different perceptions of the scripture's. How do we "know" which one is the right one aside from listening to what our heart tells us?
I'm not suggesting anyone give up their religion. In fact, I believe that having a practice is important and assists in spiritual evolution. There are definitely times when I wish I could claim to belong to a certain religion or faith. I long for that sense of community and support as well as inspiration and perhaps something will fit for me someday. I think it is a beautiful thing to be full of faith, I only have a problem when someone discredits another's faith. For now I am thirsty for knowledge on all the faiths and religions around the world and I long to find the common thread that connects us all.
A prayer by Mother Theresa
People are often unreasonable,
illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of
Selfish, alterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you're successful, you will win some
False friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank,
People may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building,
Someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness,
They may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today,
People will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have,
And it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis,
It is between you and God;
It never was between you and them anyway.
I was raised a Christian. I have met many Christians who are truly trying to live a Christ-like existence, which I admire deeply. I admire anyone who can be selfless and help the world's people, no matter what brought them to a place of service and compassion. I believe service is the highest form of worship.
Even as a child, I could never fully get on board with the Christian movement. Really, it's the whole Heaven and Hell thing. The thought of an innocent starving child in a third world country dying and then burning in hell only because he had never heard of Jesus, just did not sit right....at all. The thought of any good person being punished for eternity for simply believing in God in a different way, well I just can't wrap my brain, or heart around that. These ideas seem very fear-based. I choose to love God out of love, not fear.
I know many will disagree with my beliefs, but it's ok. I know there is common ground and I choose to peacefully disagree while focusing on our common truth's. I challenge anyone who is "stuck" thinking their religion is the only right and true way, to actually study and look into some of the other world's religions and see for yourself where common truths appear. I think it is also safe to say that all the great books have been written and rewritten throughout the years, taking on different perceptions. All of the great books have great truths to teach us, many of them overlapping from the Bible, the Torah to the Quran, to the Bhagavad Gita.
I truly, in my heart, believe that all paths to God lead to God. If we are living our lives for a higher good, doing good, then I believe we will find God. If we seek God, we will find God. I do NOT believe that God wants us to harm anyone, for any reason and I do not believe that God wants us to be divided.
There are so many different religions, each one claiming to be the one and only way to God. How can that be right? There are several different religions that reference the Bible alone, all claiming to be the "right" one. As we all know, there are many ways to perceive things. I believe that several religions that can come from one common book must all be different perceptions of the scripture's. How do we "know" which one is the right one aside from listening to what our heart tells us?
I'm not suggesting anyone give up their religion. In fact, I believe that having a practice is important and assists in spiritual evolution. There are definitely times when I wish I could claim to belong to a certain religion or faith. I long for that sense of community and support as well as inspiration and perhaps something will fit for me someday. I think it is a beautiful thing to be full of faith, I only have a problem when someone discredits another's faith. For now I am thirsty for knowledge on all the faiths and religions around the world and I long to find the common thread that connects us all.
A prayer by Mother Theresa
People are often unreasonable,
illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of
Selfish, alterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you're successful, you will win some
False friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank,
People may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building,
Someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness,
They may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today,
People will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have,
And it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis,
It is between you and God;
It never was between you and them anyway.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Saturn Returns
I decided on the blog title "Saturn Returns" after much thought. I'm sure many of you know what that means, but for those of you who don't, please excuse my lack of astrology education while I attempt to explain.
Every 27-29 years, the planet Saturn returns to the same place it was when we were born. It is said that at these times in our lives, we tend to ...uh.....go through it, feel it, contemplate it all, "find ourselves". As we all know, growth, although necessary, can be painful. Although I feel like I have always had these "growth spurts" spiritually and emotionally, I definitely feel some bigger shifts as Saturn is back where it was 29 years ago.
So here I am riding the wave as I have found that swimming against it just doesn't get me anywhere. I trust that I am guided. I trust that I am supported and I trust that each experience given to me is for the greater good, as hard as that is to swallow sometimes.
For me, this time in my life is inviting me to step out into the world a little more. I have spent my entire 20's as a stay at home mother, which I am so grateful for. What an amazing education! While most people my age were attending college, partying, dating and traveling, I was a full time mother and completely in love with it. Now, with a second grader and a 3 and a half year old, I'm ready to focus a tiny bit more on me. Wow.....why the sudden guilt in the pit of my stomach?! I have to tell myself, it's ok. It's ok to follow my passion and it's ok to take small steps. At times, my restless nature takes over and I have to stop, breathe and put together some realistic steps while trusting that God's will for me will manifest in it's own time. aaaaaah, I feel better already! We must keep reminding ourselves and eachother.
This is my very first post on my very first blog. Whether Saturn is returning for you or not, welcome to my blog and thank you for reading!
Every 27-29 years, the planet Saturn returns to the same place it was when we were born. It is said that at these times in our lives, we tend to ...uh.....go through it, feel it, contemplate it all, "find ourselves". As we all know, growth, although necessary, can be painful. Although I feel like I have always had these "growth spurts" spiritually and emotionally, I definitely feel some bigger shifts as Saturn is back where it was 29 years ago.
So here I am riding the wave as I have found that swimming against it just doesn't get me anywhere. I trust that I am guided. I trust that I am supported and I trust that each experience given to me is for the greater good, as hard as that is to swallow sometimes.
For me, this time in my life is inviting me to step out into the world a little more. I have spent my entire 20's as a stay at home mother, which I am so grateful for. What an amazing education! While most people my age were attending college, partying, dating and traveling, I was a full time mother and completely in love with it. Now, with a second grader and a 3 and a half year old, I'm ready to focus a tiny bit more on me. Wow.....why the sudden guilt in the pit of my stomach?! I have to tell myself, it's ok. It's ok to follow my passion and it's ok to take small steps. At times, my restless nature takes over and I have to stop, breathe and put together some realistic steps while trusting that God's will for me will manifest in it's own time. aaaaaah, I feel better already! We must keep reminding ourselves and eachother.
This is my very first post on my very first blog. Whether Saturn is returning for you or not, welcome to my blog and thank you for reading!
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