Oh Boy(s)!

Today was laundry and cleaning day at my house.

J also had his little friend over.

Why is it that the toys that rarely get played with,

get brought out at a time

when I need everything off the floor?

Imagine my horror, when as an environmentalist mama

I see our sweet boys playing in this fashion...

....I'm hearing things like, "we are cutting all of the trees down"

And little Nesta over here....

His mama goes by the name of Mama Trees.

Mama Trees, people!

I'm not sure she would be down with this type of logging play.

I'm not sure I was, but I let them play it out.

and I ignored the sweeping to instead photograph it.

They were intent on "building" a new forest.

and I thought that was a grand plan.

I also suggested that we leave plenty of old forests in place too.

They agreed.

And all was well in the world.

I can't not

I can't not believe in God.

You can try to show me all the evidence in the world that God does not exist

But I have no interest in not believing.

My life is better for believing.

I feel God working in my life.

And even if (although I don't believe this) it is all an illusion

Then I am content with the illusion

Of something much greater than I.

My tiny part in activism

May never be enough

To change the world

Even a little.

At times I may be misinformed

I may look like a fool.

I may overwhelm others

With my passion for the less fortunate

For the suffering.

The alternative is to shut it off

As if it is not happening because it is not happening to me.

You are me.

I am you.

We are interconnected

And I can't not speak up for those who are forgotten by most

For those who suffer

Whose cries fall on deaf ears.

My life often feels like overload.

We drown in bills

From things that gave us the illusion of success.

Material possessions. 

Returning to college should be the last thing on my mind

But I can't not take a step, tiny as it may be

In the direction of my dreams. 

I can't not believe that my higher education

Will somehow serve the world

And it's well worth

The extra overwhelm of homework 

In my already full life.

Private school seems absurd for people in our financial position

But I know that the Waldorf school is where I want my children.

I can't not have faith that the money will come

That my children will continue to have the opportunity

To learn in an environment that takes their spirituality 

As seriously as their academic achievements.

I can't not be grateful

Even when life throws storms my way.

I have beautiful children

A supportive husband

A home both here and with my family in the Midwest.

Food on the table. 

Opportunities for education

For work

For my children

Blessings many of us take for granted.

I can't not remember how lucky I am

Even when I struggle.

I can't not believe that good

Comes from our struggles

That in our darkest hours

There is still a light that shines 

On and within us

That in our times of struggle

Wisdom and Compassion are born.

I can't not believe that the worst sort of people

Are the ones who suffer most

And need our compassion

Our love

Even as they hurt us

Anger is rooted in pain

In fear

I can't not believe that everyone

Carries some kind of light

That there is hope for healing

In even the most devastating of cases.

I can't not cry for the world

At the same time I rejoice in the world.

I can't not feel hopeless at times

While remaining so very grateful

For the ways I am blessed.

I can't not seek out balance 

Even when balance seems unattainable.

I can't not trust that everything will be ok

That my children will grow up safe and healthy

That my own deep seeded issues will heal

And that my own healing will have

A ripple effect. 

I can't not continue to start over

Each time I fail to 

Be the highest version of myself.

I can't not evolve

If evolving is my intention.

Gregory Isaacs - Financial Endorsement 1975

I'm a reggae girl, through and through. It's almost exclusively reggae over here at my house, give or take a little bluegrass, hip hop, neo soul and my tween is now starting to like pop music.

This morning I had pandora radio set to my fav. reggae station and up came this song. I realized how very much I love it and how very perfect it was for me to hear it this morning and I'd like to share it.

That's all.

The best

The best

things

in life

are free.

Rain

When it rains it pours.

I have no umbrella

Leaving the rain drops 

Pelting my skin

It's flooding

And I have no life raft

No life vest

Too determined to sink

I tread water

I tread and tread

Sometimes I'm tired

Sometimes I float

But it rarely gets easy

And sinking just rears its ugly head

Too often during these storms

I cannot sink, give up

Because even though it storms all around me

I know for some life is 

A hurricane

A tornado

A tsunami

And in such extreme cases

One cannot even tread

Drowning is not an option

It's a reality

In many cases

An unnecessary, yet unavoidable reality

I am blessed with options

Even if they are not 

Congruent with my plan

My hopes

Even though they are not easy roads

Without rain

There would be no growth

I will hold fast

Look for the rainbow after the storm

And remember that the rain

Comes from the very sky

As the sun

10 things I love about the Midwest

1.Familia

2.The effortlessly abundant gardens (I'm a little jealous...Colorado gardening is very different, and much more laborous than Minnesota gardening).

3.My childhood home that my parents still live in. Talk about nostalgia!

4.The rural farm land that surrounds the area where I grew up.

5.The water. Oh how I love the water. Nothing beats a lake in my opinion.

6.The trees, of the deciduous variety.

7.Traveling with my little pro travelers. Especially when we are going somewhere they like best, like Minnesota.

8.Friends.

9.Farms

10.The lush green forest, where the grass is soft, the air is thick and the trees are so, so green.

So glad to call that place home, and this place home. My heart is split between two states, but it's good.
It's good.