Friday, August 27, 2010


At times I find myself waiting,
waiting for something better, something easier. 
I look over at grass so green
and realize that outside looking in
is not always a clear picture.
Nothing is without challenges and hurdles.
Many things are worth those challenges,
and every situation must encounter some.
So many things are so good,
 often we must wait for them.
Waiting certainly can pay off immensely,
there are great rewards for patience.
 I come back to inner knowing
that the real treasure is now.
There are gifts in the waiting,
lessons learned through the long journey
making the end result so meaningful.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Like Aspen trees

As I travel through the winding roads of this life
turning this way and that,
 things change and shift as fast as my emotions.
I notice the Aspen trees.

One organism
connected at its roots
an entire forest can be but one tree.
I am reminded that we are all connected
although we are also individual.
Like the trees.
The aspens have their own shape
their own leaves
that bend and shift with the wind
letting the sun reach the lower branches
casting playful shadows on the forest floor.
Some of their leaves change earlier than others.
While some reach for the sky with more vigor
others are content to stay small.

The rain falls on every one of the trees in the forest.
Some of the trees feel the rain
because they are closer to the sky
the moisture flows into their shared root system
deep in the earth.
It affects them all.
Their life depends on it.

We are like these trees.
What we do with and in our lives
directly or indirectly affects everyone.
We are connected
whether or not we feel it or acknowledge it. 
Our roots run deep
and they all need water. 

No matter how we differ
and we do,
our souls are thirsty.
Love, warmth, acceptance, peace,
are like water to the soul.

And we are not so different from each other.

We are like Aspen trees
growing together
different but the same.
And together we make a beautiful forest.

Friday, August 20, 2010

The Best

The simple things are the best
Rich or poor, all can enjoy
The first opening of springs flowers
The first snowfall in the mountains
The first tomato, fresh off vine
The changing of leaves in fall
An ocean breeze, fresh on faces
The giggle of small innocent children
An empty laundry basket, so rare
A coming together,with little effort
A path of ease, shown up
Feeling connected to all that is
Fleeting moments of realization so peaceful
The sun rises every single day
The moon shows light each night
This life is surely a gift
With all of it's many incarnations
We come back seeking our best

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Intentional Happiness !!!

Intentional Happiness Momalom !!! Bad Mommy Moments !!!

I'm linking up to Momalom's Intentional Happiness (which I had to work really hard at finding today! was good to write it up, late as it may be, and smile about our last weeks adventures in our search for intentional happiness).

Mini golf !!!

got one !!!

skate parks and mountains !!!

4 years, 2 wheels !!!

stopping to smell the flowers !!!

summer days !!! brothers !!!

photographing bright shiny babies !!!

playing with rocks !!!

It really is the simple things

Friday, August 13, 2010

This much I know

Life is never just one thing
We are never just one thing
Happy, sad, angry, scared, hopeful, unsure
All have permanent places in us
One emotion always accompanied by others
Gay, Christian, Prochoice, Lawyer, Teacher, Writer
One label cannot sum us up,
Won't tell the world our heart
When people ask how I am
A one word answer cannot contain
I am all of it all.
Emotion is as fleeting as waves
That roll in from the vast sea
They crash and are then gone
Only to make room for another
I cannot grasp onto just one
Because emotions are fluid as water
Never gone but always changing shape
I learn to ride the waves
Appreciating water for what it is
Appreciating emotions for growth they bring
Thankful for use of many words

Thursday, August 12, 2010

heart swell

My dear boys and I went on a lovely walk the other day.
We are lucky to live in a town, where we can walk to the country.

Starting on our small city street, we head out.

In just about a mile, we are on a lovely hill, where E likes to climb.

and J likes to do just what E does.

Just after the climb, he insists that we stop and sit in every shady spot
for the rest of the way up the hill. 

Finally, after all that stopping to rest, we reach the top.
We feed the horses and take in the view.

When it's time to head back down the hill, suddenly someone's legs are not working.
He starts to act like this...

....and I start to feel stubborn, sort of the opposite of this.....

To my pleasant surprise, E swoops in and offers to carry J.

he carries him for over a mile, back into town.

Once in town, there is an attempt to get J to walk.
At first it doesn't go over to well.

Because I am too stubborn to pick up my almost-5-year-old-after-he's-been-carried-for-the-last-mile-child
and E has the patience of a saint,
he convinces J that it's really brave to walk even if your legs are tired or "itchy."

It works!

Once again, my first born makes me so proud and humbled all at once
and my heart swells.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

ten on ten

I just found this blog carnival via a friends facebook status. The idea is to take ten photos on the tenth of each month and then link up. If you are interested in joining up next month, check it out here.

I do not work Tuesdays through August, but so far they have been packed, today was no exception.

On our morning walk, we ran into our neighbor coming back from his garden across town. 
He had ginormous zucchinis and left us one on our step.

On Tuesdays I have my friends three kiddos in addition to my own. We have a trade worked out so we can avoid childcare costs in the summer time.
This is on our way to the library.

Today was election day, and I'm a voter, so we headed to town hall for me to drop off my and my husbands ballots. VOTE!

oh how I love this little hand in mine.

Next we picked up my box of cucumbers from the market.

and the process began....

with the end result being pickles!

An afternoon bike ride to the grocery store and a packed buggy on the way home.

Remember the giant zucchini? Supper.

Our mountain at sunset.

It was a good day, and I am happy to have an excuse (as if I need one) to document it!

Sunday, August 8, 2010


I dreamt last night that I was in the bush (the way they say thick forested area in Africa) and I was hearing gun shots all around me. machine guns. In my dream we weren't that scared yet because the gun shots seemed far away. As they got closer, we ran and we hid, at one point jumping into a ditch and covering ourselves with leaves. We lay there quietly, barely breathing, hoping to not be found. It reminds me of how Harriet Tubman laid in a potato hole for days, days people (!), when she was being searched for on her journey to freedom. I awoke several times throughout the night and each time I went back to sleep, the same dream revisited me again and again. Weird. Maybe it's the book I am reading on the war in Congo. Maybe it's all the research and writing I did last year on the war in Darfur or that 15 pager on child soldiers. Whatever the reason I dreamt it, I awoke to find it not my reality yet knowing full well that it is reality for some and that is unacceptable.

J has the most awful sounding cough. He's ok. I have medicine here for him. We have clean drinking water, healthy food and access to doctors if needed. So much of the world has no such opportunity. Over 24,000 children die each day to preventable causes (UNICEF). I want to throw a fit about it. I want to scream at the world "What the HELL are we DOING?!" But that won't help. Looking on with judgement at those who have far more than they need won't help. Bitching about it won't help. Even as I sit here and blog about it I wonder how this post can be productive. It is informative, but I don't spew this depressing information so you can sit on the other side of the screen feeling more depressed after reading. I want to bring awareness, yes, but also solutions. I don't have all the solutions.

Food, water, and medical care are basic human rights. Period. As humans, we have much to work out. In my opinion, securing safety, nutrition, and medical care for children the world over is essential. What can I, one person, do? Not much, but not nothing. I have to share this awareness because it's burning inside of me and awareness is the first step (isn't that what they say when one is trying to change a behavior?).
I do what I can, always striving to do more. I often feel that what I do isn't near enough, but it's something. We each have the ability to make choices that are better for the whole.

Even though we are all so, so tiny in this massive universe,  in this big world, that we have the ability to make choices that can speak volumes. If we can impact one person, that's big enough. If we go about with the idea that we cannot make a difference and it doesn't matter, it will ripple out. If we go about with the idea that each choice counts, it will ripple out.

I dream of a better world. It really does begin within.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

As big as the whole universe, like a circle

J and I have a running conversation. It goes like this. E thinks he's too big for such convo's with the mama, but I tell him too.

Me: Do you know how much I love you?

J: yessss (giggle, giggle)

Me: No you don't

J: Yes I do! As big as the whole universe, like circles

Me: Yep, as big as the whole universe, like a circle

J: Mom, you can love me even more than that

Me: I do. I love you infinity

J: What's that movie with the cowboy and spaceman?

Me: Oh, Toy Story, with Buzz Lightyear? "To infinity and beyoooooond!"

J: yes (giggle giggle)

Me: Infinity means it goes on forever, kinda like a circle. You'll never really know how much I love you cause you'll never be a mother. 

J: Yes I do! as big as the universe, like circles!!!!!!

Me: Yes dear, as big as the whole universe, like a circle, infinity, never ending.

And that's the truth.