Wednesday, January 12, 2011

closing doors

She believed that old cliche,
"when one door closes, another opens."
She really did believe it.
Yet putting it into practice
came easily in some areas,
not so much in others.

Some doors she readily closed 
and patiently awaited another to open.
A better one. 
She knew there'd be a better one.

Other doors seemed to be closing on her
and she would not surrender.
Instead she held fast,
like a door stopper
holding open a door that was too heavy for it.
Her fear was that without her there,
it would close.
She wasn't ready for it to close,
and the burden of holding open that heavy door,
all alone,
had not broken her yet. 
Yet.

She knew of the gifts
that come with surrender,
from giving up thine own will
to serve the greater good.
She knew life was hard,
and we all face hard in our own ways.
She knew that hard brings grace,
when you take the time to see it, to feel it.

She wanted to step out of the way
and flow with what came to her naturally.
She wanted to let heavy doors close
and walk through unknown ones
with faith, trust and lightness.
She wanted to use her talents
void of the fear of being misunderstood.

She wanted to know God, personally.
Without all the fear.
Without all the judgment.
'Those are not God,' she said.
God is Love.
She wanted to know Love.
Truth, through no body's egotistical filters,
through nobody's judgmental eye. 

She thought she felt too deeply, 
and let things weigh so heavy.
She didn't understand why others around her
paid no attention 
to the amount of injustice and greed in her world,
their world.
Were they blind to it?
Did they choose blindness?
Why wasn't she content to choose blindness?
Her heart told her 'no way.'
So she prayed, and prayed, and prayed
to be shown the way.

And she was amazed by the ways she's been answered,
by the peace that accompanies the hard.
Never easy, but a beautiful journey.

Wish her well.



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