She thinks so, so much.
As she lays her child down to rest,
she thinks about the incredible gift her children are.
They grace her life like cool water runs over river rock.
Her eyes gaze up to the window sill.
There sits the angel candle holder that her grandfather made,
It's simple, plain wood, no detail, no paint, no frills,
but so beautiful, that angel silhouette is.
She thinks it is something she will forever keep.
Inside of it sits a candle that she made for her youngest's latest birthday.
It has a lotus flower on it, she loves lotus flowers.
Her eyes move up to the prism hanging in the window.
On sunny days it makes the room sparkle,
but now it's dark and she just gazes at the tear drop shape of it.
She spots the blink blink of an airplane in the sky
and she wonders about all the people on the plane.
Do they wonder about all the people down below
while they are up high in the sky,
on there way to somewhere?
She knows that she does.
Where are they going?
What are they doing?
What are they feeling?
Do they feel as connected to their fellow humans
as she does?
People are strange, she thinks.
We get caught up in things that
are not really important.
Not in the long run.
Clean houses, landscaped yards, the latest styles.
She knows that we and she are all just searching for the good.
Sometimes we just mistake the real good for bandaid good.
At least we are all searching,
and with searching we will usually find glimpses.
She thinks that she's tired and should go to bed,
and she thinks about those who have no beds
or homes, or safety.
Her heart hurts for them,
and she gives thanks for the blessings that
so easily get forgotten about
when her own life seems hard.
She thinks she can be better, do better
by herself, by her children, by the suffering of the world.
She asks for guidance and strength
and is often amazed at the ways it shows up.
She thinks the hardships in life
can be seen as grand opportunities
even though it doesn't take the hard away.
She thinks life is good and hard.
All of it. All the time.
There are two sides to every coin.
She thinks there is a plan in store for her,
and her hard life work is preparing her for big things.
She thinks and she hopes.