Tuesday, February 15, 2011
At this time in my life, I am leaving much behind me. I suppose at any point in our lives, we can see it that way. So much in the past, many promising things to come. There are those times, however, that are very significant. 2011 started off with my husband moving out of our house. whoa. Two weeks later my grandmother died. My kids have been sick and my emotions can be likened to the dark of night and the bright light of the sun. Some days I feel so good and I trust that this hard transition is going to take me places, that I will indeed fulfill the potential that I hold. Other days I am a mess. I believe this is natural.
It's definitely a process.
As hard as it is to go through tough times, I think God chooses us to. It can be seen as a privilege. We are being invited to walk through our own limitations and come out of it with more faith, more light, more compassion and understanding. God uses our trials and tribulations to make us more enlightened people, I believe that. It's not about "Satan" or punishment, it's about refinement. If we can walk through the painfulness with equanimity and love, then we are spiritually growing. If we stay in our comfortable bubble all of our lives, how will we know what we're really made of? Living up to our highest potential always involves some scary, unsure, growing times. Anyway, that has just been on my mind.
So, through this refinement I am experiencing, I have faith. Things are so hard and I feel so hurt many days, but I still trust. I'm confused as heck, but I trust that the confusion will lift. I have so many options and of course I'm looking at what's best for the boys as the first thing. It's tricky believing that I can really manifest whatever it is that I want, but knowing that it will take jumping hurdles along the way. I got my jumping shoes on.