Friday, February 25, 2011

Six word Friday- Well

Wellness comes in so many forms.
Keeping myself well is a challenge,
especially with my many high expectations.
So blessed am I with health,
safety, warmth, food, shelter and love.
Still I fight for wellness, struggle.
My body and ego sometimes want,
want for things that are artificial,
not real sources of real wellness.
Wellness is a fight worth it,
worth going without, worth biting tongue,
worth striving for, worth opening to.
I tell myself I deserve wellness.
It's up to me to choose.

For more on well, go here.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Six word Friday-Novel

In her head is a story.
It plays in the third person
through all of her experiences, thoughts,
often referring to herself as "she." 
It feels more universal that way
and comes to her so naturally.
Stories, stories, she tells herself stories,
stories about herself, stories about life
and love and fear and overcoming.
Stories about paths and gifts, opportunity.
Stories about connection, and holy things.
She often lives in her mind,
always making sure it connects heart.
She wants to hear your stories.
Her tender eyes will meet yours
and her heart will open wide.
You and she and he are
more alike than different, you see.
We just hear, see and digest
stories differently, our very own novels.

A novel idea....see Melissa's blog

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Virtual Coffee

At this time in my life, I am leaving much behind me. I suppose at any point in our lives, we can see it that way. So much in the past, many promising things to come. There are those times, however, that are very significant. 2011 started off with my husband moving out of our house. whoa. Two weeks later my grandmother died. My kids have been sick and my emotions can be likened to the dark of night and the bright light of the sun. Some days I feel so good and I trust that this hard transition is going to take me places, that I will indeed fulfill the potential that I hold. Other days I am a mess. I believe this is natural.
It's definitely a process.

As hard as it is to go through tough times, I think God chooses us to. It can be seen as a privilege. We are being invited to walk through our own limitations and come out of it with more faith, more light, more compassion and understanding. God uses our trials and tribulations to make us more enlightened people, I believe that. It's not about "Satan" or punishment, it's about refinement. If we can walk through the painfulness with equanimity and love, then we are spiritually growing. If we stay in our comfortable bubble all of our lives, how will we know what we're really made of? Living up to our highest potential always involves some scary, unsure, growing times. Anyway, that has just been on my mind.

So, through this refinement I am experiencing, I have faith. Things are so hard and I feel so hurt many days, but I still trust. I'm confused as heck, but I trust that the confusion will lift. I have so many options and of course I'm looking at what's best for the boys as the first thing. It's tricky believing that I can really manifest whatever it is that I want, but knowing that it will take jumping hurdles along the way. I got my jumping shoes on.

Monday, February 14, 2011

She thinks

She thinks so, so much.
As she lays her child down to rest,
she thinks about the incredible gift her children are.
They grace her life like cool water runs over river rock.
Her eyes gaze up to the window sill.
There sits the angel candle holder that her grandfather made,
years ago.
It's simple, plain wood, no detail, no paint, no frills,
but so beautiful, that angel silhouette is. 
She thinks it is something she will forever keep.
Inside of it sits a candle that she made for her youngest's latest birthday.
It has a lotus flower on it, she loves lotus flowers. 

Her eyes move up to the prism hanging in the window.
On sunny days it makes the room sparkle,
but now it's dark and she just gazes at the tear drop shape of it.

She spots the blink blink of an airplane in the sky 
and she wonders about all the people on the plane.
Do they wonder about all the people down below
while they are up high in the sky, 
on there way to somewhere?
She knows that she does.
Where are they going?
What are they doing?
What are they feeling?
Do they feel as connected to their fellow humans
as she does?

People are strange, she thinks.
We get caught up in things that 
are not really important.
Not in the long run.
Clean houses, landscaped yards, the latest styles. 
She knows that we and she are all just searching for the good.
Sometimes we just mistake the real good for bandaid good.
At least we are all searching, 
and with searching we will usually find glimpses. 

She thinks that she's tired and should go to bed,
and she thinks about those who have no beds
or homes, or safety.
Her heart hurts for them,
and she gives thanks for the blessings that 
so easily get forgotten about
when her own life seems hard.

She thinks she can be better, do better
by herself, by her children, by the suffering of the world.
She asks for guidance and strength 
and is often amazed at the ways it shows up.

She thinks the hardships in life
can be seen as grand opportunities
even though it doesn't take the hard away.

She thinks life is good and hard.
All of it. All the time.
There are two sides to every coin.

She thinks there is a plan in store for her,
and her hard life work is preparing her for big things.
She thinks and she hopes.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Six word Friday- Seconds

"Tick, tick, tick" as I lay
wide awake at three o'clock a.m.
counting seconds until I drift again.
They are always moving, these seconds,
one after another after yet another.
Some go by unnoticed by me,
and others I find myself amazed
at the magic in this world. 
Even when times are so hard, 
there is still so much beauty.
My wish for myself and others
that not a second goes by
without knowing beauty and love,
even when other feelings are present,
may those still be the underlying.

For more seconds, visit Melissa's blog.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Six word Friday- Sum it Up

Sad, angry, rejected, hopeful, faithful, open,
these sum up my changing feelings
over the closing of a door.
A big life changing shift here
that is both devastating and enlightening.
I see gifts in hard growth,
but challenges run strong these days.
I have faith in the way
things will turn out for me,
a newly single mama of boys.
It was not my choice, but
I am finding room to accept.
Things could change for him, me,
but I am taking one step forward,
one day at a time, yes.
This is hard, but I'm ok.
Most of the time, I'm ok.

Where to go? What to do?
I'm wide open, scary and exciting!
I had been asking in prayer,
to live to my highest potential,
and I let myself be guided.
Fingers crossed, heart open, for AFRICA, 
and then? who knows. wide open.
Options include staying in the mountains,
or moving back to midwest, family.
A year in Maui could happen. 

Trust, faith, and openness guide me.
Feelings come and go, thank goodness. 
It's so helpful to remember often
that nothing is permanent, nothing is.
Doors close, doors open, opportunities arise
out of the hot burning fire. 
Sadness and hope, hand in hand. 
 I feel touched by the Divine. 

Thank you for your kind words. 
For more links, visit Melissa's blog.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Morning Verse

In the Waldorf Kinderhaus, the teachers gather each morning to speak a verse by Rudolf Steiner (founder of Waldorf education). I thought I'd share.

Steadfast we stand in existence.
With certainty we walk the path of life.
Strength pours into our hearts.
Love we nurture in the core of our beings.
Hope we place into all of our doing.
Faith we infuse into all of our thinking. 
These six go with us through life.
They give us our existence. 

Oh, what a wonderful way to start our day working with precious little ones. Waldorf education rocks!