Friday, April 29, 2011

Six Word Friday- Last

So many things come to mind
when the word "last" comes up.
Good things and hard things alike.

The last of snow (I hope!),
Yes, I'm definitely ready for that. 
Buds and birds make me swoon.

This last year of such growth, 
I was ready for that too, 
though I didn't readily dive in.

The last of natural disasters, maybe?
Sadly I don't think that's it.
It makes one's heart so heavy.

The last of the school year
is in 5 more weeks, whoa!
I'm so excited for this summer!

The last of my destructive patterns,
I hope this year will bring.
I invite in courage, discipline, compassion.

Last day of the work week,
Yay, it's here! Welcome week end!
For more "last" visit Melissa's blog.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

It's official!

I'm going to AFRICA! Zimbabwe to be specific. Just outside the capital, Harare, to be exact. I just, this morning, purchased my plane ticket. I'm am SO excited....and a little terrified. I'll be there for 3 weeks, which on one hand seems like a blink of an eye when one is traveling half way around the world to fulfill a dream, but on the other hand, I will be missing my sweet boys so much while I am gone. I'm sure I will be more than ready to return home to them. I'm so stoked to explore more of the Shona culture (music and dance, YES!) and lend a hand to an amazing sustainable community reaching out to teach the Zimbabwean community how to live sustainably and take care of themselves. This is a dream come true for me and the way it has come together amazes me. I can't believe it's actually happening.

Woot, woot!

Friday, April 22, 2011

Counting my blessings, in six words

My heart breaks, like anyone else's,
and the brokenness can bring openness.
Blessings surround us, all the time.
No matter what our current situation, 
the sun still shines so bright.
The flowers still bloom in spring.
The children still wonder and laugh. 
Music still fills our ears, hearts.
Joy still seeps in, in moments.

May we always choose to notice.

For more blessings, visit Melissa's blog.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

ch ch ch ch changes

Now you have that David Bowie song stuck in your head, don't you? I do. Catchy. heh.

My plate has felt so full lately and boy, I'm tired. I've had to take some things off my plate, like making meals and keeping house blogging daily. Gosh, I even missed Six Word Friday yesterday. I've let my laundry go and my meals be less from scratch. I stopped waking up much earlier than is necessary (during the week I dream of sleeping in Saturday morning, but here I am awake early). I am still keeping up on my daily spiritual practice, I just made the decision last week that I would give myself permission to summarize, rather than blog through it every day. The book sticks with a particular theme each week. Week one was 'discontent' and how it pushes us towards a better way. Then it went on to 'hope' in week two, acknowledging that hope is a spark, but that we must choose (week 3 was 'choice') to take action to make our hopes our realities. I am now finishing up week 4, and it was all about change.

The author invites us to look at who we think we are, and then let go of it. Easy, huh? ssshhhhhyeah....

If we are not who we think we are, who are we? How do we move forward and let go of who we think we are? The way I take it is that we let go of our attachments to how things work out, our attachment to our images, while still moving forward with the changes we want to make as well as doing our best to be in the moment and accept the changes that we cannot control. Embrace them even.

I've had a bunch of change in my life in the past year. Most of it has felt out of my control to an extent. Rather than going back to school full time in the photo program, instead I got a full time job to help support my family and allow my children to stay at Waldorf school. Instead of strengthening my family unit and moving forward together, I was forced to let go of that vision when my husband moved out. I'd like to be back in school working toward my degree and freelance writing on the side, but for now I have to let go of that and instead embrace my life as a single working mother. This can feel depressing, but mostly it's not. I've let go to what I thought I would be doing, who I thought I was, and opened to the gifts that my current situation is bringing me. It turns out that my husband moving out has opened me up in ways I wouldn't have guessed. This devastating change has shown me what my inner resources really are and my faith is stronger than it has been in a long time. As my children grow older and more independent, I am changing and moving away from all things mothering. Don't get me wrong, my kids are still a huge part of who I am and my life's purpose, but it's time for me to step forward and feed my passions, while still being there for them in all the ways I can.

Amongst all the uncontrolled change, there is some controlled change. I'm taking back control of my health. I'm doing this daily spiritual practice to continue on this path of faith and trust and letting go. I am going to AFRICA. Yes, folks, I am blowing off credit card debt and instead using part of my tax return to spend a month in Zimbabwe this summer, where I will be doing HIV/AIDS outreach, working with children, staying on a sustainable community, and studying Shona music and dance. Exciting. Scary. Life changing. Oh boy. Talk about taking a leap. It's been a' brewin' for a lonnnnng time. I'm ready.

Change is a call for faith. Change is growth. Change is the only constant. Change calls us to draw on our inner resources. Life is change. We are most alive when we are changing, as painful as it can be. Sometimes it's change that we resist that is the most beneficial to us. I'm learning that and I still resist, but am working toward letting go and trusting.

Blessings on your changes, and mine.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Six Word Friday-Right

What my heart says is right
may not resonate with your heart.
Right for me does not mean
that it is right for everyone.
Higher choice, change, and taking leaps
may look different to us all.

Some things are just universally right,
like love and generosity and grace.
Other things feel wrong to all:
greed, hate, betrayal, violence and slander.

In us we carry right, wrong.
Mistakes are our own to make.
We see other's wrongs, we judge.
Only some times our harsh judgement
comes from our own insecurities, fears.

We do have the incredible opportunity
to right our wrongs, let go.
We have the invitation to view
our wrongs as a growing experience.

Our hearts know what we need.
May we all follow our hearts.

For more "right," visit Melissa's blog.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Six Word Friday-Again (day 17)

Here I am, linking up again!
....and combining it with my practice
Again, they go hand in hand,
the themes being "again" and "choice." 

Again, I have many choices ahead.
Sometimes I choose to do nothing.
Sometimes it's appropriate to do nothing,
Sometimes it's made out of fear.
In which I kick myself for
not trusting enough to move forward. 

Again and again, we all have
the inner resources to move through
hard times; the bloodiest of battlefields.
Again and again, we have choice.
We will fail and fall, yes.
Much of life-trial and error,
moving us toward a greater good. 

Allowing ourselves to live in limitation,
hurts us, makes us tight, anxious.
We have gifts for the world,
each and every one of us. 
Again, I ask for strength, guidance,
the occasional kick in the ass. 

These days, come again and again.
But this life?....comes but once.